Posted by: catsandfish | October 17, 2011

Sometimes I Want To Be A Time Lord


Here we are.

A lot has changed in the past few years.

I am no longer the crazed workaholic from the blog posts of yore. The Universe put a stop to that with my health, forcing me to pick up the paint brushes, the pen, and throw my hands back on the keyboard.

Still the same- The economy is in a burning pile of ruin. Politics still suck. People are still hateful and disgraceful and terrible. William is still wonderful. My cats are still fantastic. I still cook and keep a fish tank. We are still broke, but so is the rest of the world. My dad is still sick. My family is still crazy. Well…talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Changed- No alcohol, smoking or dairy. A million pills. I hardly leave the house due to my health. Shut in style. Channeling Emily Dickinson. I now have a sweet little pound mutt named Penny. William  is a successful businessman. Heart tattoo. I have a feeling of self worth again, proving that retail insanity didn’t totally kill it.

The transition has been hard, especially the change of identity. Going from being a self sufficient, self destructive, feminist corporate ladder climber to being a semi-bedridden Ms. Suzy Q. Homemaker has been like my life exploded and was then swept into a neat little pile and organized into cute containers.

There is still a lot of anger. My cynical bitch 13 year old self with her safety pin earring, punk/goth clothing, suicidal depression and hatred of humanity would kick my ass with her high heeled black combat boots. Then she would compliment my tattoo. Our tattoo…? Whatever

I am so damn positive now that it makes me want to vomit. Suddenly things seem to be going well and a huge part of me just can’t handle that. I am constantly waiting for the huge crashing disaster that is my old life to roll back over me. Still, I am not sure of what could possibly happen that I couldn’t handle, considering what I have been through.

I feel like I have a lot to give to society, society has a lot to give me, my physical condition just gets in the way. Still, it is good to not be a slave to Corporate America anymore. The Man can kiss my ass!

The Universe has such an odd, ironic sense of humor.

Good thing I can take a joke.



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