Posted by: catsandfish | April 24, 2012


by Hannah Brown on Tuesday, December 6, 2011 at 6:14pm ·

OK, so I just got back from taking Penny out in this freezing weather, and it took her forever to do her thing, I am hurting all over so I am already fussy, and here is this freaking letter stuck in my lovely miniature cactus garden. It states that upon recent inspection by the property manager my patio has been found unsatisfactory and I need to clean up my “unsightly” patio, removing all trash and non patio items.

EXCUSE ME?!? OK, now this would be fine if there were anything “unsightly” about my patio, but let’s be honest, it is a thing of freaking beauty. Being a shut in, it is one of my 4 hobbies, keeping that patio looking nice. I am out there at least 3 times a week sweeping, misting plants, dusting my patio chairs and removing the piles of leaves that their maintenance guy with the leaf blower constantly blows on to it. I have a flippin’ blooming rose bush out there. Have these bastards ever tried to get a rose bush to bloom in the middle of December? In VEGAS???? I also have amazing cascades of philodendrons that are supposed to be living in a rain forest. I keep them alive by watering them and misting them constantly.

So…WTF? Why are we the only ones to get this letter? Is my tiny garden gnome showing too much beard? Add to that the fact that the upstairs patio is a playground and several other people use theirs to store stacks of cardboard boxes advertising cheese whizz. Then just pile on how we couldn’t find our speakers the day after the cleaning crew cleaned the clubhouse after our anniversary party and the office woman was a bitch to me and wouldn’t really let me look for them. On top of that, we JUST signed a 6 month extension for our lease. I’ll tell you what’s unsightly, YOUR FACE IS UNSIGHTLY!!!!

Damn it. William just went in and handled things like a boss. He also got our speakers back. These bastards are lucky, I get up at 5 am, I was going to be waiting there for the first person to unlock that office. I was going to take them on a fantastic tour of my patio so they could tell me exactly what was “unsightly”…

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